For me, finally a mystery has been solved,
The meaning of “the existential recovery”.

After Mom’s passing,
whom I had looked after for nearly 7 years,
my mental illness disappeared;
My doctor said: “It’s an existential recovery”.

Not understanding what he meant,
I accepted it as a gift with gratitude.
But, for a long time
I wanted to understand the meaning.

Today, at the Mass of the Easter Vigil,
a priest, citing from Paul Claudel, said:

“It is to fill our suffering with Divine Presence
that God has come… His calling is to throw oneself away
and carry one’s own cross…”
And he spoke of a woman
who looked after her husband for 7 years
with divine blessing in her heart.

Now, I understand the meaning of
“the existential recovery”.
It was, for me, to be filled with the Divine Presence.
My suffering was filled with that divine blessing
through my bed-ridden Mother.

I was happy to look after my Mom
all through the years.
It was God’s gift. I truly feel that.
That sense of happiness and gratitude
still remains with me today, this Easter.
Praise and gratitude to Lord!
(Apr. 3, 2021)

Teruko Yamakawa (translator)