At the last moment
Dad said repeatedly:
I can’t breathe, please help!

Holding him face-down
in an ambulance,
I prayed that
his sufferig would go away.

I waited and waited
for an air bottle for him
who was in my arms.
But when it came with a doctor,
he was gone.

He was freed from suffering.
My prayer was heard,
not in the way I hoped for
but in an expected way.

It was a short while to wait,
but for him who was suffering
it must have been forever.

I wouldn’t have my Mom
experience this suffering,
so I determined.

We all seek a peaceful death,
but not everyone can have it.

Was my determination fulflilled?
i still wonder even now.
(Jan. 1, 2022, Dad’s memorial day)

Teruko Yamakawa (translator)