When I think of
sunset years of
my mother,
I wonder
where is God’s will?

My mom
who raised me
and my two sisters
after repatriating
from Mainland China.

My aged mom
who lived alone
after the departure
of my dad.

My mom
who endured solitude
each day
by composing Haiku.

It was a stroke
which attacked her
in her quiet but
independent life.

Her independent life
turned to be a dependent,
bedridden life in a facility.

She couldn’t speak or
move anymore;
but just lying down
with clear consciousness.

Her silent/bedredden life
continued for more than 6 years.

Oh, how many Haikus
she composed in her mind
with her speechless lips!

How did she accept
her fate to be bedridden
for such a long time?

Where can I find
God’s will for her?

Was it to teach us
through her own suffering
the truth, His love and mercy?

The truth that
it is only through suffering
we can learn His Love and Mercy?

So I feel on her birthday,
reading her diary left to me.

Mom, I miss you!
(September 17, 2023)